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Not Sorry

by Caleb Seguin

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1.
The Canary 05:38
2.
Shell Shock 03:25
You went to war today, I think you lost the fight You marched in crazy circles, no one got it right So long, so far, no one asked for this but Now here you are and you’re not loosening your fist Two feet, one road; how far will sadness take us? One beat, too slow; how hard will madness shake us? Oh not since the earthquakes did ocean learn how to lose their tempers Remember I know part of you still wrestles with those waves Don’t let them tell you to behave They don’t know what it takes to be brave No one knows how much you gave This is not a battle cry; We are not soldiers There are not the stories you wanted written ‘cross your shoulders And I could be wrong but I think we’re getting older You found home in the pain of flames and let them smoulder The blood’s been wiped away, you’ve tied the bandage tight It’s pretty nasty but I guess you’ll be alright So long sweet accidental friend of mine Cut yourself loose, and give them nothing, not this time I owe you something of an accidental smile I’ll stay with you for a while Oh not since the earthquakes did oceans forget how to surrender Remember All these years, and still, you push with all your might And still, it wakes you in the night This war you never meant to fight Will we ever be all right? This is not a battle cry; We are not soldiers There are not the stories you wanted written ‘cross your shoulders And I could be wrong but I think it’s getting colder You found home in the pain of flames, home in the pain of flames, you’re home in the pain of flames… wish I could put out the fire.
3.
Asphyxiation 03:40
Ever since the fires came This room has never been the same I know I'm the one you blame Don't let me suffocate your flame Please don't die on me I'm haunted by your breath I'm haunted but I'm free Please don't let go It's not over, no Please don't die on me Ever since you drew that line I've forgotten what is mine And ever since you lit that match I've been burning low, I'm running out of flames to snatch And ever since we lost the sun We've been sucking dry the night and all its young And ever since we shut the box I've forgotten where I left the keys for all its locks Please don't die on me Keep breathing steadily Please don't let go It's not easy, I know But please hold on for me Your careful eyes, your weak disguise, I know inside a brightness lies Just hold my hand, don't let the sand that's blowing scratch away your skies Easy now We'll steer this bow into the waves, the storm will pass Just hold my hand 'till we find land, At last, at last Please don't die on me I need you desperately Please don't let go I'm right here you know Please don't die on me
4.
Hurricane 04:12
I sat down on my bedroom floor just as it began to pour, imagining the rain came flooding in; through the floorboards, up it seeped, slowly rising, cold and deep, and from above, the rain soaked to the skin; My floating things bobbed up and down, my books destroyed, my gadgets drowned, and silently I sat just like a stone; My heartbeat slowed, my body numb, in my own dark aquarium, breathing in the water I call home; But here, here we don’t get hurricanes, just gusts of wind, just spats of rain, and here, we are not afraid of nature’s wrath; Here, here we sit in darkened rooms and read the tales of death and doom and here, here we wait for windy aftermath I woke up to the sound of rain, the remnants of a hurricane that hit the coast a million miles from here; They said that people lost their homes, some people died, some broke their bones; they said it was the worst in many years; This room has no open sky; my bedroom floor is nice and dry and honestly the wind is not that bad; if we could bring the ocean here, if we could muster up some fear, just think of all the storms we could have had; But here, here we don’t get hurricanes, we just let things go up in flames, and here, here we never drown in floods, but still we drown in our own blood and here, here we never get typhoons, but something big is coming soon, so lock your windows, hold on tight, it’s gonna be a stormy night.
5.
False Idols 05:16
We are the wrong ones We cannot die We live above you, between the dirt and the sky We never bothered chasing virtue Because you made us And now we rule you You killed your heroes You slayed your queens There are no ends at all to justify the means There are no gods at all to tell us what it means There are no rules at all to tell us when to scream You gave us meaning You made us strong You crawl for eons Your knuckles bleed So full of hunger So full of nauseating need We steal your comfort We steal your pride We give you nothing And there is nothing/nowhere left to hide We killed our mothers We'll kill yours too We see the cracks and we know how to push ourselves through We are the wrong ones We know this well We know the secrets We'll never tell We've been to heaven We've been to hell And we've forgotten how to sing but we still know how to yell

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released May 5, 2015

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Caleb Seguin Albany, New York

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